(no subject)

[eleriah]

The Family Tree Bar & Grill

Welcome to the planet's most unique dining experience! Follow the evolution of flavors along your choice of species hierarchy, each species painstakingly recreated by some of the world's top scientists, including five Nobel Prize winners! Start with our famous Primordial Soup™ and work your way up, or try our exclusive Neanderthal Ribs and work your way back–it's your choice! Your table-top console will help you choose a path based on ratings of previous patrons. New species are added weekly so come back often! All items are 100% organic and guaranteed to have less than 98.5% in common with human DNA.*

*Some species have been altered slightly to comply with state and federal laws or to reduce toxins and allergans. This does not change or harm the flavour in any way.

---

Voted "Restaurant" Four Years in a Row by Consumer Magazine!

· Blackened tuneless salad
· French cries
· Petrified shrimp
· Soft baby cow cut open and sliced into gobbits while its mother watches
· A festival of crustaceans cooked just until they stopped moving and not a second longer, served with mixed browns and ochres
· American Morning^®—the freshest or most interesting things our chef finds during her morning walk
· Lunch Challenge^®—your choice of cutlery and our choice of opponent! It's eat-or-be-eaten in this unique update to the rock-paper-scissors game. Trying to impress your date? Why not try two at once?